Chores with Toddlers

I wrote a series on establishing Routines with Kids a couple of years ago based on my experiences with my nieces and nephews, but now that I have my own little girl I thought I'd share how we're handling chores. My daughter just turned 2 and she has chores. She doesn't know they are chores, she thinks she is helping mommy or daddy. Which she is, sort of. Yes, right now I could get these chores done a lot faster just doing them myself, but then what does that teach her? So, while it maybe doesn't really help me to have her bring in the mail or water the plants, it will in the long run. Everything she does for herself and for me now that earns her praise and increases her self-confidence, means that much more she'll be able to do for herself in the long run. So, I think of my added time now as an investment in her confidence and self-sufficiency.

Baking with Daddy

Granted a lot of these are still "supervised" chores, meaning she doesn't just go and do them, but she will if asked and sometimes verbally guided. I'm very big on self-sufficiency, and will ask her to do things and she knows if she needs assistance she just has to ask "help please" and I'm there to help.

Chores she currently can do on her own
1. Keeps clothes off her floor
When she was old enough to walk reliably, she would put her pajamas in the hamper. Now she helps me by putting clothes in the hamper and also sending them to the laundry room. Granted it's only putting 3-4 articles of clothing in a hamper, but we have to start somewhere.

2. Puts her toys away
Each type of toy has it's own basket, she knows where they all belong and will put her toys in the appropriate basket. I don't care if she just tosses everything in the basket, so long as it's in there. When she's older we can worry about being tidy, for now she's learning to pick up.

3. Puts her art/craft items away
She has a rolling drawer tower for coloring books, play doh, finger paint, etc. She puts her art stuff back in the tower when she's done with it. We just have to work on asking before pulling it out.

4. Gets her plate, cup and utensils for meals
This isn't consistent, because if it's something hot I'll fill her plate and stick it in the fridge to cool a bit before bringing it to her. However, if I ask her to get a bowl, she will. I store her cups, dishes and utensils in a drawer in a lower kitchen cupboard so she can reach everything.

Kirsten's Drawer, so she can get things for herself

Chores she currently does with assistance
5. Personal hygiene
I brush her teeth first, then she brushes. She washes her own hands after dinner and will tell you "hands please" when she is ready to wash them. We are slowly working towards more self-sufficiency in this area.

6. Bringing in the mail
Every day when she gets home she goes to the mailbox with either myself or my hubby and she brings the mail into the house. I think this is her favorite chore and it was self-imposed. She made it her job to bring in the mail, which is great!

7. Watering the plants
Both indoor plants and soon the outdoor planters. I got her a mini-spade and watering can to help me.

Done with the patio, heading over to sweep the rocks

She does other things beyond this, but this is the list of things that are currently "her chores". She "sweeps" the back patio, wipes the dinner table, helps in the kitchen, picks up "ickies" and puts them in the trash... Icky can be lots of things according to her definition, so I have to peek in the trash once in a while to make sure something important wasn't deemed icky by her, like dog toys.

Toddlers love to help, they very much want to be just like mommy and daddy at this age. I'm taking advantage of it to establish lifelong good habits as much as possible.

Granted I have to sweep after her and wipe the table after her for the time being, but I have her "help" me so she doesn't realize I'm redoing what she's done. I always praise her afterwards for a great job and being a good helper, and she LOVES being a good helper. Plus, as a parent it's fun to see how proud she is of herself after she's helped.

What chores do your toddlers do? Or if your children are grown, what did they do as toddlers for chores?

Routines with Kids: Chore Charts Update

I

t's important that children understand the importance of helping with housework and taking pride in a job well done. I've discussed this before during September Shapeup, and since then chore charts brings more people to my site than anything else. So I thought I'd update you on a few of the things I've found since then.

I found a great site, DLTK, which will dynamically create a chore chart for you to print out. You can choose between black and white, which your child can color in, or color. If you laminate it you can use a dry erase marker to mark items off and wipe clean each week, or you can just reprint or create a new one each week. If you have older kids you can choose no image, or add your own.

Exmples of black/white for your child to color, and full color chore charts.

See the original chore charts post
See other Kid posts
See other Routines with Kids posts

If you'd like more of a vintage feel, help yourself to one of these images or search google for vintage chores.

-OR-

Routines with Kids: Kid's Fun Day

What's the Homemaking September ShapeUp! all about?



Just as it's important for kids to have chores and routines so they know what's expected of them and to keep their day's running smoothly, it's important that they have FUN! They are kids, encourage them to be kids. Let every family member pick what they want to do for 2 hours each week as a family. They might pick board games or a movie or a picnic. If you want you can specify a monthly not to exceed dollar amount to go with it to help build up a bunch of options.

$10 could cover:
a movie rental and popcorn for a movie night
a frisbee, sandwich fixings and juice for a picnic
a board game
a deck of cards
a puzzle
ingredients for homemade pizza night
packets of seeds to plant their favorite vegetables or fruit
squirt guns
an inflatable kids pool

There are plenty of free options:
going to the park
go for a walk
go look at the pet store
mad libs
drawing/coloring
put on a play of their favorite story
telling stories each taking a turn making up the next line
have a camp out in the living room, using a sheet for a tent

If parents set the example of being able to have fun with just a little imagination, children will learn by example.

Do you have any other ideas?

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Routines with Kids: Allowances and Chores

What's the Homemaking September ShapeUp! all about?



Allowances... A word that inspires much debate among parenting experts. I'm not expert so I thought it would be helpful to provide some resources that might help you make up your mind as to how you prefer to handle it.

Kaboose
PTA recommendations on FamilyEducation.com
Parenthood.com - this article most closely agrees with what I'll discuss below

I'm sure if you've read my posts over the last week you have a pretty good idea of my viewpoint. The debate centers around two arguments:
1) Allowance shouldn't be tied to chores, because chores are a responsibility as a member of the family
2) Allowance should be tied to chores, so children can learn the value of a dollar and to work for their goals.

I agree with both standpoints. What? As I've been mentioning, there are two types of chores. The first are those that are expected as members of the household, picking up after themselves, and basic every day chores....

Unloading and loading the dishwasher, setting the table, doing a load of laundry, folding laundry if they are younger, dusting or vacuuming, basic home upkeep type chores. Tie this to household priveleges, watching tv, computer time, game time, etc. They don't contribute to household upkeep, they don't get to enjoy the fun aspects of the household.

However, allowance should be tied to chores, for the reasons mentioned above. They learn the value of a dollar and how to work for what they want. Yes, mowing the lawn or washing the car or weeding are all part of helping maintain the household, but they are needed less often and are great chores to tie to earning an allowance. Rather than an allowance being a given, make at least part of it earned. A job jar can help with this, allowing you to monitor the jobs that are needed and available to be done for additional allowance.

How do you handle allowance?

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Routines with Kids: Creating a Job Jar

What's the Homemaking September ShapeUp! all about?



Do you have a job jar? There are two kinds of chores, those that are expected as members of the family, and the extra chores that they can do for extra spending money or an allowance. Using a job jar is a fun way to handle all those extra chores and allow you to control what options are available each week. Color coding is an easy way to handle at a glance what the chore is worth. I have different colored slips of paper for approximate time.

Examples:
White : 10 minutes
Vacuum a room, including edges
Sweep the back porch

Yellow: 30 minutes
Mow the yard
Weed the front/back yard

Blue: 45 minutes
Clean the car, inside and out

So, a slip of paper can be chosen based on the amount of time available, add dollars to be earned for that chore to the slip as well. When they are younger you may want to work with a point system instead of dollars and let them turn in points towards books or games or something else. After time you can allow them to turn in their points for items or money, eventually switching it over to money entirely as they learn the value of money.

To encourage chores to be done, it works better to pay out immediately. If they want something or they want to go out that evening and need money for a movie, they know what they have to do to earn it. You both benefit.

Rotate the slips out based on what needs to be done that week.

A job jar can be just that, a jar, a vase, a basket, or anything else you have handy. If you want a fun project to do with the kids if you have little ones is let them each decorate their own canning jar for their job jar.

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Routines with Kids: Daily Routine

What's the Homemaking September ShapeUp! all about?



Just like we have routines, children need routines. If they do the same thing every morning, and when they get home from school or daycare things will go much smoother. To make the mornings easier decide what the pain points are and address them in the evenings.

Have a young child that insists on picking their clothes, however inappropriate they may be for the occassion or weather? Put together outfits at the beginning of the week, let your child choose which to wear each day. They can pick any outfit, but it has to be the entire outfit together. Give them one day to wear whatever they want and smile when the purple polka dot shirt, orange striped skirt, blue socks and red shoes come out of the closet.

Have a child that just can't wake up in the morning? Move their bedtime up in the evenings and give them an alarm clock and set it across the room so they can't hit snooze.

Have a child that can never decide what they want to take for lunch? Let them pick out their snack for the week at the grocery store, and prep lunches the night before to eliminate the discussion.

Taking care of a few things in the evenings will help make the mornings go smoother.

To make your evenings a little easier, start it a little earlier. When they get home from school or daycare, allow for 30 minutes or so of downtime, whatever they want to do. However, after that, they should get their homework done and their chores. If evenings are so swamped that there isn't enough time to get everything done in a reasonable amount of time, consider cutting back the after school activities.

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Routines with Kids: Consequences and Rewards

What's the Homemaking September ShapeUp! all about?



So, what do you do if your children know what is expected of them and they choose not to do their chores? The key here is the word choose. There are always occassions like Finals, Midterms, large Projects being due that deserve a break for a week. First, is the complexity of the chore reasonable for their age? How about the number of chores?

There are 2 kinds of chores, those that are expected as a member of the household, and those that are extra done for allowance or extra money. Obviously if extra chores aren't done then there is no monetary gain. However, what about the chores expected of them as household members, picking up after themselves, making their bed, etc.

Rewards and Consequences go hand in hand. There should be some reward for getting their chores done, maybe 10 minutes of tv or game time earned for each chore done, with a bit extra if it's done every day all week. The consequence of not doing that chore is losing those rewards. Obviously, the rewards need to match the age of your child. But it should never be time alone with mom or dad. That should be something they get every week regardless, and not something in danger of being lost.

How do you handle the rewards and consequences of chores?

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Routines with Kids: Chore Chart

What's the Homemaking September ShapeUp! all about?



Chore charts help kids know what is expected of them and show them what they've accomplished, and what's left to be done.

Younger children might have chores like "Make your bed", "Pick up your toys", "Put away your clothes". As they get a little older add a household chore or two like "Help Dust" or "Set the table".

For children who can't read yet, use pictures for the chore chart. Find some old magazines, or free clip art online and let them cut out pictures for their chore chart. When it's ready and the glue has dried slip it in a sheet protector sleeve that will work with a dry erase marker. As they do each chore each day, mark them of with a check mark, smiley face or star.

Chore charts work for older children as well, they know what is expected. It also takes pressure off of you as a parent, when they want to do something fun when their chores are done, rather than asking them about each thing, you just ask them if their chores are done. They can look at the list themselves, it teaches them responsibility.

Chore charts should be kept fairly simple, you can download some nice free ones at ChoreCharts.com.

Updated: DLTK has some great printables for kids, and they even guide you through creating chore charts with some of your kids favorite characters. Start your chore chart here!

Exmples of black/white for your child to color, and full color chore charts.

And a February one in Dora, all images are available in color or black and white:

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Routines with Kids: Chores by Age

What's the Homemaking September ShapeUp! all about?



There is a lot of room for interpretation in terms of what the experts say your child can or can't do at a certain age. The most important thing is to have them doing some chores right from the beginning. If they are old enough to take it out, they are old enough to put it back. It may not be perfect, but it doesn't matter when they are younger. Resist the urge to go after them and put items where you think they belong and in your order. If blocks belong in a basket and they make it in there, let it be good enough. You can always straighten it a bit when you hit that room in your monthly deep cleaning.

Kids do well with routines and knowing what is coming will make it easier. If "pick up time" happens before lunch and before dinner every day, it's easier to get them to pick up. You know your children and their abilities, while they should always be picking up after themselves from a young age, what about household chores.

Can they help feed the pets? Can they help dust lower shelves? Can they help pull weeds? These are all things that can be done at a very young age, younger than 5... You just have to be willing for it to not be perfect. For instance, if they aren't doing a very good job yet, you can have them help you dust on the weekend, but you go over it again on pick up day.

It's more important to teach them how to help, then to have it done perfectly.

For approximate age appropriate chores for kids About.com has a great article

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